Grief during the holidays is hard. Grief of your mom is hard. Grief of the death of your mom, during the holidays, with five young kids? It rocked me to my core in all the worst ways. This weekend will mark one year since my mom's sudden passing. Her death was such a shock that I don't think I fully processed it until well after the holidays last season, so in many ways this feels like my first Christmas without my mom. Read on to find five ways I'm celebrating my mom this Christmas season, and surely in years to come!
PSA: If you are grieving your own loss this Christmas season, please know that I see you in it. Whether your loss is fresh or old, or you are just now beginning to process it, let this article serve as a sense of hope in the heartache. Know that eventually, somehow, it does get easier. If you would like to reach out for a listening ear, a space to just vent, or for a prayer request, please email me! ❤️
🎄 Five ways I'm celebrating my mom this Christmas season 🎄
Play Her Favorite Christmas Music
Music has a way of transporting us in time. This Christmas I plan to intentionally put my own song preferences on hold to play equal parts Mannheim Steamroller and Mickey Mouse Christmas songs. As a mom now myself, I'm sure she was trying to balance her wants with ours, but the thought of a playlist like this makes me chuckle a bit. When I hear certain songs I know I will think of her and smile.
Put Up Special Ornaments
Two Christmases ago I was going to gift my mom an ornament with a cardinal on it and a saying for my late brother. It arrived late, so I never did. I had every intention to give it to her last year but she passed away before I could. After her passing, I was gifted even more ornaments in my her honor. They bring me great joy as I walk by and one catches my eye. I like to think of it as a little "hello" from her.
Bake a Treat
My mom loved baking, especially at Christmas. This year I plan to bake some of her favs with each of my kiddos. What's on the docket? Caramel popcorn and sticky buns are two must haves! My girls and I like to talk about what kind of treats she's up there eating with Jesus on any given holiday.
Recall Christmas Memories
I grew up in a divorced and dysfunctional family, so unfortunately many of my memories aren't so great. However, Christmas has a way of bringing out the best in people and that was especially true of my mom. I can recall decorating the banister with her - and doing it just so, the one Christmas we wore matching dresses (I felt so special!) and making Christmas candles every Christmas Eve. My mom went out of her way to make sure we had traditions to look forward to year after year all while providing all the behind the scenes magic. I am so grateful when I think about how much work must have gone into making Christmas "Christmas".
Talk About Her
Sometimes when someone passes I think other people can feel uncomfortable bringing up your loved one as to not make you sad, so they don't. I'm here to say "please do!" Let me say that again - it's okay, and welcomed, to talk about someone who has died. All I have left of my mom, aside from a few personal keepsakes and photographs, is her memory. I don't want to loose that, too. If I am sad, it's not to make you uncomfortable. Rather it's an indication of how much love I still hold in my heart and that is a beautiful thing worth sharing.
"The people who live in darkness have seen a great light, and for those living in the land of the shadow of death, a light has dawned." Matthew 4:16
I, for one, am thankful the light has dawned. If you are still in the midst of deep sorrow, know that your light is coming. ❤️
